With the pending writers’ strike in Hollywood, writers in both America and Britain are being warned that if they break any potential strike they will never work in Hollywood again. While I understand the reasons the writers may strike (they don’t seem to get a fair wage for any follow-on sales of their work in DVD, downloads, internet etc), I see this as an opportunity to offer my services to Hollywood as a writer on some of their most popular shows.This would help ensure that shows keep running during the strike, and since I’m not part of a union the threat of never working in Hollywood is a fair price to pay to get a one-off writing credit on something like 24 … it might go something like this:
Jack: Drop the weapon now! Now!
CTU agent: He’s dead, Jack.
Jack (calls CTU): The henchman is dead. He resisted arrest as we took him into custody and I hit him very hard a few times – there was nothing I could do.
Head of CTU: you’re in big trouble Jack, you’re a loose canon – the president needs you dead, we’ll have to bring you in.
Jack: I’m your only chance to stop this baddie before the world explodes … you need me now. Once he’s in custody I’ll come in quietly.
CTU: Fair enough … did you get anything from him before he was killed?
Jack: No, but I managed to get the last ten calls he made off his cell phone – I’ll send them to you via a very sophisticated electronic device which I happen to have with me, hang on … the numbers with corresponding addresses, credit reference details, electricity bills and fridge contents are transmitting to your system … upload them, reposition a satellite to these coordinates and send me the infrared image and building schematics on my portable hand-held device.
Ok, I’ll keep working on it.
We all believe in something. Why do we believe? Do we blindly accept our beliefs in the face of all logic or evidence? Do we blindly dismiss other’s beliefs based on an apparent contradiction to our own? Does believing in something make it real? Where is the Great Pumpkin?
Dear Hollywood Director
Please, please, please use part of your multi-million dollar budget to buy a Steadicam!
Recently I watched The Bourne Ultimatum and The Kingdom, which have left me feeling a little nauseous due to the fact that the cameraman has shaky hands. It is undeniable that this pseudo docu-drama style applied to the action genre gives a realistic edgier grittier style, and I do agree that the action sequences in these films are greatly enhanced (it’s even led to the reinvention of the Bond franchise), but when two people are sitting down having a chat, all my brain wants to do is let my eyes focus on faces and take in what is being said.
So, come on, the steadicam has been popular ever since the kid in The Shining rode his three wheeler round the hotel, and it’s even used by camera guys on the touchline in football matches, so please consider using it (or buying a tripod) the next time you make a movie. Paul Greengrass – even though you are probably the best director to come out of the UK for several years, you have a lot to answer for.
Yours faithfully
The Beagle
I happened to stumble across a repeat of x-factor yesterday afternoon and was compelled to watch (rather like rubber necking a car crash). What I saw was some young girl singing some random pop song … she was horribly out of tune.
This was supposed to be some kind of studio stage where I presume the contestants have been vetted and should be “good”, so I was surprised by how bad she was. Three of the judges kindly called her performance “nice” or “nervous”, but when Simon Cowell simply said she was flat, he got booed. This was the plain truth … she was flat.
What does this show actually achieve? Are we to congratulate mediocrity and put it on a pedestal just because there was no-one better?
I also believe that the x-factor transmits some kind of hypnotic sub-conscious image stream which mixes your brain waves and fixes your eyes on the screen, rendering you unable to switch channels. It wasn’t until my wife came in, horrified by my vegetative state, that I was able to turn it off and do something less boring instead …
So, I’ve created a blog … I doubt that it will serve much purpose except stopping me from doing what I’m actually supposed to be doing, and I’m pretty sure that no-one else will even stumble across this, but hey, my good friends qmonkey and Voxo seem to have fun with their blogs, so it’s worth a go!
All I need to do now is form some opinions about some stuff.
